"For women, their value is how they look."

“For women, their value is how they look.”

A few days ago, in AP Lang and Comp, our class started watching a documentary called “Miss Representation”, a film about the harmful ways women and girls are portrayed in the media. With facts and statistics about the number of hours teens spend per day on media consumption, which would include listening to music, reading magazines, watching TV and movies, or simply being online on the internet, the documentary presented a case for girls in our culture growing up with unrealistic, impossible, frustrating or demoralizing images of what they are supposed to look like. Regardless of how accurate the data is, I am sure we could all agree that girls today are exposed to a daily onslaught of messages, direct or indirect, and that these messages define our cultural ideals, set standards, and plant ideas in little girls, teens and women on how they should look, how they should act, what they should like, what to buy and wear, and how to get guys to notice. 


“For women, their value is how they look,”the documentary states. There is this idea that a woman has to be perfect. They have to be skeletally thin and six feet tall. They have to wear lots of makeup. Their hair has to be perfect. Their skin has to be flawless. Their cheekbones have to be high. Teeth must be straightened and whitened. Asian women pay to have their eyes surgically altered to look more deep set. Women are trying to attain such an appearance that is simply unattainable. Even supermodels get photo-shopped to make their waists look smaller, or their chest bigger, or to cover up blemishes.Lips are injected to swell to bee-sting proportions, but noses are supposed to be smaller, not bigger. Ears can be cut and stitched closer to the head. Where does it end? If even the supermodels are not considered perfect, who is? Why are we comparing ourselves to something so unattainable? Just because the media makes us feel terrible for not being a certain way?

From a very early age, girls learn what the “ideal” woman should look like. They play with Barbies, see pictures of women in magazines, watch TV and see what actresses in Hollywood look like—we learn very early on what society expects of us. However, pretty much nobody ever lives up to these expectations. Some fall short more than others. Girls obsess over their skin, hair, height, build, weight, face shape, everything. Pretty girls tend to be popular, and less attractive girls may be socially shunned. Those who have the money to dress up with the latest trends have more friends than the girls wearing WalMart clothes or hand-me-downs. Self esteem plummets. It’s no wonder the depression rate has increased at such a high rate, along with anxiety and other mental disorders.

For all the alarming and compelling facts this film presents, I do find one thing I find that the focus is exclusively on females, and almost nothing is ever mentioned about men and how they too might suffer from how the media presents an ideal for them to live up to. Their fashion choices and hair styles may not be as excessive, but boys and men are pressured to look and act a certain way to fit in in this society. Just take a look at stores like Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister or even Calvin Klein. Women and girls are seen only with slender, handsome men who have six-pack abs, bulging biceps and a golden sun-tan. Teenage boys take protein powders and lift weights constantly trying to “bulk-up” and meet the standard. It is considered a bad thing for boys to be skinny. Guys are pressured to be athletic and strong and to play sports. It seems to be true in every school that it's always the football players who are the most popular with all the hottest girls.

Male or female, all of us are being pressured to fit in and look just right. Women and girls may suffer the most pressure and the most uncomfortable fashions, such as high heels with narrow toes that resemble nobody's feet, and mascara, eye shadow, lipsticks, and other expensive little things that require us to buy a purse to carry it all around in. Guys get to carry a wallet in a back packet and not have to apply make up or wobble around in high heels or worry about a run in panty hose or a loose bra strap.  Guys don’t have to update their wardrobes as often, but they do have to look trendy and cool, whether the trend is pleated pants or flat fronts, distressed denim or the new palette of colored denim.I hope the day never comes when men, too, are expected to wear makeup, straighten or curl their hair, and buy a whole new wardrobe every season. I also hope that our culture's obsession with how we look will someday relax. We should be free to wear what feels good and looks just right, and to use our wardrobes, jewelry and hair styles to express who we are, not to make us all match each other like peas in a pod. Variety is under-rated. Conformity is over-rated. People who work in the media should try harder to send a message of being happy as we are, rather than making people feel they can never be as desirable as movie stars and models.

What should I blog about?

What should I blog about? Every week I am supposed to write three blogs totaling 1200 words for AP Lang and Comp class at my school. Every Sunday night I spend bent over the computer trying to find something to write about and get my word count up to 1200 words. Most of the time I get points docked for not having enough posts or not getting to the high-enough word count. Besides, why does anyone want to even read my blog? Why should people care about what I have to say if I don't even have anything that I want to say to write down on my blog? It is very frustrating and, personally, I don't think it is fair to expect this of students. What we say will be on the internet forever for our future employers to look at and it's not like we're even thinking about what we are writing half of the time. We are only writing these things because we are forced to for our AP class. How is that fair? What is does is it forces us to write  as many words as possible and use as many filler words as possible just to satisfy the requirement of 1200 words per week instead of writing quality posts with only the words that are necessary. That is the problem of many writers today. They simply use too many words and are therefore forced to cut out lots of parts from their novels or stories. But instead, I'm here trying to do the opposite. I'm TRYING to write as many words as possible instead of getting clearly to the point. And I'm not proud of it. If it were up to me, all my posts would be pretty short and concise. I would be straight to the point and say what I needed to say and then I'd be done with it. It would be much easier for readers to read anyway. Who wants to read really long posts with lots of unnecessary words? Definitely not me. Certainly not.

The Vampire Diaries: The Book vs. The TV Series

I recently read The Vampire Diaries by J.L. Smith after having seen the popular TV show series (which I never thought I would be so engrossed in) and so I decided I would compare/contrast the TV series to the books the show was actually based on. In fact, I had started watching the show before I had ever known the books existed. When I first started watching it with my mom, I was actually very skeptical. I thought it was just a knock-off of the Twilight Saga. There were so many similarities. For example, an ordinary brown-haired, brown-eyed teenage girl falls in love with the mysterious, exotic new guy who is inhumanly beautiful. All the girls are in love with him but they know they'll never have a chance with him. At first, it seems as though the guy hates her, but she finds out he actually loves her. Then the girl finds out he is a vampire, but she still loves him anyway, etc. etc. I'm sure you get the point: the two stories are very similar. But to my surprise, it turns out the Vampire Diaries was written way before Twilight ever became popular. If anyone is a copycat, it's Stephenie Meyer for stealing ideas from J.L. Smith. But that's not why I'm writing this. Please do not think I have anything against Stephenie Meyer. I was, after all  hooked on the Twilight Series like every other girl, but my goal here is to compare/contrast The Vampire Diaries TV series with the books.

As with every other novel that is turned in to a TV series, there will be many similarities, but also many differences. One of the biggest differences is in the protagonist of the story, Elena Gilbert. In the book, she is frequently described as a beautiful blonde with very fair skin and blue eyes, but on the show she is a beautiful brunette with brown eyes. Many fans were furious when the cast list came out and they discovered the actress wasn't blonde. Also, on the show the town she lives in is Mystic Falls but in the book the town she lives in is Fell's Church, Virginia. The next difference I noticed was that in TV series, the popular football player and jerk is named Tyler Lockwood, but in the book his name is Tyler Smallwood. This happens with a few other characters as well, such as Bonnie Bennett (Bonnie McCullough in the books) and Matt Donovan (Matt Honeycutt in the novel). Also, on the show, Bonnie is African American with brown hair and green-ish eyes, but in the books she has red curly hair and fair skin.

There are some characters that exist in the book but not in the show. For example, one of Elena's best friends, Meredith, is not mentioned on the show. There is also another friend of Tyler's named Dick Carter that exists in the book but not the TV series. Instead of Jeremy for a brother, Elena has a younger, four-year-old sister in the books named Margaret, and instead of living with her aunt Jenna like on the TV series, Elena lives with an Aunt Judith and her fiance Robert.

On the show, Caroline Forbes is a rival of Elena's at first, but not nearly as bad as in the books, and instead of having blonde hair like on TV, Caroline is a brunette in the novel. Also, in the novel, Caroline steals Elena's precious diary that she writes in every night and threatens to read it to the entire school. This is after Mr. Tanner was attacked and killed by a vampire the night of the school dance/Halloween party. The entire school believes Stephen to be the killer, and Elena's diary mentions that he has been acting strange lately and keeping secrets from her. If Caroline were to read Elena's private diary to the entire school, it could reveal Stephen's big secret. This never happened in the show. It only happened in the book. In addition, Caroline does not date Damon in the books like she did on the show, and the evil villain Klaus has not been mentioned in the books so far either (I am just now starting the second book, so he may be mentioned later on).

In the books, Stephen Salvatore is described as "Short-Dark-and-Handsome", but on the show he is of average height if not fairly tall. He lives in the Salvatore Boarding House with an old woman named Mrs. Flowers in the books, but on the show he lives with his nephew (Yes--his nephew. He looks much older than Stephen but you have to remember that Stephen is a very old vampire). This also brings up the topic of Stephen's age. So you may be wondering, "Exactly how old is Stephen?". Well, on the TV series he says he has been seventeen years old since 1864, but in the novel Stephen says he has been seventeen since the 15th century.

Matt is essentially the same in the book and the TV show, besides the last name. In the book it says, "Matt Honeycutt was all-American. His blond hair was cropped short for the football season, and his skin was sun burnt from working outdoors on his grandparents' farm. His blue eyes were honest and straightforward." Matt is Elena's ex-boyfriend and he is genuinely a nice guy. He doesn't have a lot of money but he is Elena's best friend and he is always there for her. He is genial with Stephen when most of the other boys at school cold-shoulder him. He allows Stephen to borrow his car to pick vervain for Elena when he has no idea what is is for. Matt is a very trustworthy, likable character. In the books, however, I don't think Vikki is Matt's sister.

Just as on the show, Alaric Saltzman takes over for the class when Mr. Tanner is killed/attacked by a vampire the night of the school dance. And just as Stephen's evil brother Damon has a black crow that scares people, it is the same in the books. The one difference, however, is that Elena discovers that Damon is her future husband (in the novel--not the TV show) when Bonnie practices witchcraft in the attic.

Remodeling the Master Bathroom

I am absolutely thrilled. It seems as though I have convinced by parents to remodel/update their master bathroom. It's about time! For almost fourteen years now that bathroom floor has been covered in wall-to-wall sea foam green carpeting. (Yes, carpeting in a bathroom! Yuck.) The cabinets are cheap, white particle board and with a plastic laminate, and the light fixtures are outdated. The shower is nothing impressive at all, a beige, one-piece, fiberglass or plastic shell that is forever grimy with hard water deposits, even though we have a water softener, and we have to squeegee the water off the walls after every shower. It's time for Dad and me (no, not Mom, she apparently does not care) to get to work on replacing the junk with quality stuff that also looks a million times better!

The great thing about my parents' master bathroom is that it is HUGE. My mom has actually always complained about that, for some reason. "Wasted space." The bedroom is "too big," and the master bath is bigger than her dining room was in the Bowman Woods, and in fact, we have no dining room in this house. She would prefer a small bedroom and tiny bathroom if it meant keeping a big dining room, or any size dining room. She thinks it is totally unnecessary for a bathroom to be so big, but on the contrary, most home buyers complain that the master bathroom is not big enough. Double sinks area  must, in this day in age, and my mom's much-maligned bathroom has it all. It surprises me, given the horrible taste of the woman who designed this house, that I have a lot to work with. The biggest problem is the aesthetics . All I have to do is remodel and it will soon feel like a luxury suite--actually, a luxury cave.

You see, my mom has always loved natural stone and has always dreamed of living in a cave--a slightly strange preoccupation, you might think, except when you consider that cave floors are rock and dirt, and windows would have not glass to keep clean. As Mom loves to say, the sun and wind are great housekeepers. (She, on the other hand, is not).

My idea is to recreate the cozy, rock-solid feel of a cave by installing Brazilian black slate flooring: 12 x 24 inch tiles laid in a staggered pattern, the way brick walls are, for visual interest. In addition, the shower walls will be covered in natural limestone. My inspiration comes from --please do not make fun of it unless you try it; Damon is known to be as addicting as sugar and crack cocaine are said to be--a TV show set in the South, with scenes filmed in an actual mansion in Virginia, called....drum rolls....The Vampire Diaries. (Yes, it is true: I have watched all four seasons.) Damon Salvatore's bathroom has black slate floors and a stone shower wall stacked all the way up to the ceiling. It is my idea of the perfect bathroom (with or without Damon in it). As for the walls, I will be painting them a warm gray because it seems to be the only paint color that goes well with oak woodwork. Speaking of oak woodwork, that reminds me, I will have the cheap cabinets in their bathroom replaced with high-quality quarter sawn oak because it looks fantastic with the slate floors.

As for the sinks, I have not yet made up my mind. As it is, the stone going up the shower walls will be expensive enough at $15 per square foot. I had originally thought of doing vessel sinks, like an onyx sink bowl, but they start at around $500 to $800 each! How terribly unfortunate. Oh well, maybe I can convince them it will be worth the money because my mom loves onyx so much. After all, our fireplace is faced in honey onyx.

Stay tuned, and I'll let you know what sinks I've decided on. Never mind that Dad says he absolutely will not replace the existing sinks. I will convince him. He has agreed to replace the floor and paint the walls. After that, he will see how awful the fake-wood, white cabinets look, and if he replaces those, he is sure to notice how scratched and rusty the white porcelian sinks are. The faucets are drippy and coated with lime, rust and I don't want to know what else. Once Dad notices and replaces the sinks, the ugly shower stall will surely start to bother him. How out of place it will look! First the floor and newly painted walls, then the cabinets, then the rest of the room. After all, nations have been annexed and conquered more gradually and unstoppably than that.

Before I go, I will share with you a few of the images that have inspired me. Feel free to cast your vote here: yes, Tim and Carol, you should, by all means, update your bathroom!

Here is just one example of an onyx sink bowl:


Pretty impressive, right? It is almost transparent.

Another option is a sink bowl made of stone:


This is neat, but I feel as though it might be a little too weird.

Here is an example of black slate flooring next to oak woodwork:



Here is a photo of Damon Salvatore's bathroom from The Vampire Diaries:


No. I did not include Damon. You will have to tune in to "The Vampire Diaries" to see for yourself. You could google Ian Somerhelder, the actor who plays Damon, but it really would not be the same.

Updating your home (continued)

5) Paint over oak baseboards, trim, cabinets, etc.

Oak woodwork is so, so outdated, unless it is original quarter sawn oak from the 1800s or early 1900s. Oak has a tendency to make a house feel very dark and dingy. To brighten up the house or simply to update it, consider painting over the oak. This can be very, very time consuming and messy, and people like my grandfather would squawk "This is heresy," but the outcome will be pleasing now, in the short term, and more likely to stay in style, in the long run.

In case you are wondering what "quarter sawn" oak is, allow me please to digress for a minute to explain it. "Tiger oak" is what my grandfather always called this wood. Mom said it must be because the grain, in places, resembles the beautiful parallel stripes of a tiger. I googled it, and Mom was right. Quarter-sawing means cutting a log the long way, in four pieces, so that the tree rings will produce a vertical pattern with a  uniform grain. Cabinet makers have prized this method of cutting oak because it produces boards with a "wonderful medulliary-ray figuring," http://barnyardgazette.blogspot.com/2007/09/what-is-quarter-sawn-oak.html, or in other words, wood that resembles tiger fur. The face of a quarter-sawn oak board will not have the big, ugly, swirling grain of plain-sawn oak. Ever notice faces staring at you from ugly oak doors? I see weird images in the grain of cheap oak. The grain of quarter-sawn oak, however, is a series of lines that are close together and straight. Sometimes the grain is wavy and interlocked, but it is never the hideous, wavy, far-apart lines that drive a person like me crazy. The reason people stopped producing this beautiful wood trim for homes is that you will not get as many boards from the log, and the boards will be narrower than you would get with plain sawing, and that means the cost of the wood goes up. Cheap, cheap, cheap is the look of homes built after the second world war. The beautiful homesof the 1920s ended with the Great Depression in the 1930s and World War II in the 1940s. People no longer had money for a big house, much less a house with expensive wood trim.


http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4HVpu8kFLAerkDh5MEhtmjlG7LQRtslMVX2BAvtMjuAdiXPSCRCOW-NQ6


http://www.blocktops.com/uploads/craftart/imageflow/Red.Oak.Open%20Grain.Plank.jpg

I would bet you do not need me to label the photos. You are sure to notice the color is better, too, with quarter-sawn oak, because people used a darker stain years ago, while oak today is all too often a lighter honey color.

http://www.amishhandcraftedheirlooms.com/images/quarter-sawn.jpg

Another way to look at this is to consider that quartering a log to reveal the best grain is the opposite of quartering an apple. If you quarter an apple, you get this:

http://www.ceskapozice.cz/sites/default/files/imagecache/full_size_content_image/apple_stars_c_blytheraw.com_.jpg

But if you regular-saw (cut in half the other way) you reveal the inner star of the apple:

There is no way to turn your ugly oak doors and trim into tiger oak, but you can paint the outdated wood. To start the big job of giving new life to old, boring wood trim, you will have to grab a pry bar and remove the baseboards and trim. Roll up your sleeves, consider investing in a mask, and begin the dusty job of sanding the wood. There is no just getting out of this step, because in order for the paint to stick, the wood has to be roughed up. If you leave behind any varnish or stain, the paint will not adhere. Sand paper can be purchased at any of the following stores: Lowes, Home Depot, Menard's, even WalMart or Target, the nearest hardware store, and many more. It is also relatively cheap. When doing baseboards, my dad said he would use rough sand paper. I would take that to mean you should use the roughest sand paper you can buy. This will make the job go much more quickly and efficiently. You might think an electric sander would be the quickest way to go. However, the boards are often too narrow for anything but old-fashioned hand work. If you have the money, and the oak is just that flimsy, cheap-looking 1980s junk, you might consider throwing it out and buying new woodwork. Even if you buy cheap pine that is already coated with white primer, it will look more expensive than grainy oak.

Next, after you have finished sanding, prime the baseboards and trim. Primer looks like a can of white paint, and it is just as messy. After you have finished priming, paint with an off-white/creamy white. Go with an eggshell or semi-gloss finish to make cleaning easier, as a matte finish will be much harder to keep clean. When choosing a paint, purchase one that is meant for painting wood paneling, baseboards, doors, trim, etc. Again, this can be found at just about any home improvement store. You can use either a paint brush or a can of spray paint (spray paint usually works better because you will not see any brush strokes).

Once you have finished painting, it is time to put the baseboards and trim back on the windows or where the floor meets the wall. Then you are done and can enjoy the fresh new look.

Here is an example where oak woodwork is acceptable because it is original to the house and is quarter sawn (we will not mention the hideous carpet):


Example of extremely ugly, unacceptable, outdated oak woodwork (be sure to note the stupid parquet floor, another el-cheapo shortcut):



Now it is your turn to decide...Which do you think looks better? Left (Before) or Right (After)? There is no question in my mind that "After" is elegant and will not go out of style.




6) Replace outdated hardware.

Brass door knobs are a thing of the past. They are ugly and outdated, but they are still seen everywhere. I do not need to post a picture because if you think about it, your own home is probably full of brass door knobs. If you have door knobs like the one show below, I want to see your house.

 To give your doors an update, consider replacing them with oil-rubbed bronze or pewter. If you want to replace door knobs in an old house with character, buy antique door knobs or replicas. House of Antique Hardware or Home Depot carry good replicas. Door knobs with back plates add lots of character, but most door knobs today do not come with back plates, so the only option is to buy antiques or replicas, but both can be very pricey. Most replicas start at $100 per door knob! If you are lucky, you can find some authentic ones for slightly less, but good luck.

Here is an example of a fantastic replica, but it is very pricey:



7) Replace outdated light fixtures.

Outdated ceiling fans or light fixtures (such as the lights above bathroom vanities) can really date a home. For an updated look, replace them with something more modern.

Here is an example of an outdated light fixture:



It is now almost midnight, and I must submit this blog. Next week, I promise to continue.

Admit it. You just cannot wait to see what a better light fixture would look like!

See you next week!!
   

My Birthday

Despite what I said about birthdays in my last post, and the fact that I would have been perfectly content to stay home watching The Vampire Diaries and eating Kraft Mac and Cheese, my brother managed to make my seventeenth birthday a pleasant surprise. Not with gifts, but with something better.

Mom had already baked a second birthday cake for me, not knowing we would be in Iowa City with Miles to eat it. The first cake she baked was on the wrong day, when Claire sneaked home to surprise me almost a week early, knowing she'd be unable to get away from classes at Iowa State on the right day. We went out to dinner that night and had a lot of fun. When December 6 came around, my birthday seemed to have come and gone already. I was on the sofa thinking about Mac and Cheese when Miles called me to say Happy Birthday--and to invite us to a live jazz concert at the Englert in Iowa City. Mom said, "It's too late. It's a school night!" I told her I had already promised Miles that I would come even if it meant being out past midnight on a school night, even though I still had to shower, even though I still hadn't finished my homework. Dad backed me up in this last minute decision to go see Miles's friends playing their original compositions. It was totally spur-of-the-moment. Miles had called, and within fifteen minutes, we were on the road, rushing to beat the clock and get there before the concert began. Mom said, "I forgot my cell phone." Dad said, "Too bad," even though we had only just backed out of the garage. Then, "The gas tank is empty," he said. "We have to stop for gas." He put in a few gallons on the way, late as we were. He didn't lecture me about driving around with an almost-empty tank. Birthdays have their perks.

We got lucky. How often does anyone find a parking spot in Iowa City at the Ped Mall, much less a spot within sight of our destination, the Englert? I was excited to see the marquee, the wet bricks of the streets, people on sidewalks and a feeling in the air of things happening. I especially looked forward to seeing my brother, on the actual day of my birthday, rather than some random day on the calendar that Mom might say was close enough to count--not that I minded seeing Claire a week early (better early than never!), and not that I had really expected to celebrate my birthday on a school night, and with live music, at that.

I walked on air all the way to the theater, eager to see my brother. Funny, we were on time in spite of living forty miles away and stopping for gas, but Miles was not. Of course. Typical, unorganized Miles. Dad texted him. No reply. We kept searching for him as we were taking our seats, just before the show was about to start, but he still was nowhere to be seen. Go figure.

The first song began with a jazz flute solo. I play flute, and Miles always urges me to try "Yozz Flute" (a line from some movie), so I especially enjoyed hearing this solo. Miles's classmate from high school, Michael Jarvey, looked very musician-like at the keyboard, tall, slender, long-haired and brooding. The other guys could have passed for Rockwell engineers, but they played great jazz, and wrote it themselves. After seeing the band play two songs, my dad FINALLY got a text message from my brother. Where was he? Of all the nights for Mom to leave her cell phone behind--Miles had texted her, of course, telling us to hurry to a cafe called Teaspoons instead. He playing a sudden gig there with a well-known trumpeter from Juilliard. Later, we learned he was just walking by the place on his way to the Englert when he looked through the window and saw Gabe Medd, the famed trumpet player. Miles had played a gig with him once before when Gabe was in town. Of course he had to rush in, and Gabe just invited him to jump in and do improv on the upright bass, and of course Miles wouldn't say no, even if was on his way to meet his sister on her birthday.

We didn't know all that yet. We only knew we had to suffer the embarrassment of walking out on the Englert concert the moment one song ended and before the next one began. I felt so rude for walking out because they were such fantastic musicians and they were my brother's friends, but we had to head over to the cafe where my brother was playing.

When we got there the place was packed with so many people there was nowhere to sit, let alone stand. But I was happy to see my brother and hear him play. I didn't recognize any of the songs. After the last song of the night, Gabe Medd lowered his trumpet and said "Happy Birthday to Mariel, the sister of our fine upright bass player." What? I blinked, looked at Miles, who smiled, and at Gabe, who had just played Happy Birthday on his jazz trumpet, and I did not even realize that was what they were playing until after they were done? My sneaky brother got a brilliant trumpet player to dedicate "Happy Birthday" to me, and because it sounded so jazzy and different from the actual song, I missed it! That wasn't what upset me about this night, though.

What really upset me was that even though so many people had crowded into this cozy little cafe to watch these extremely talented Juilliard musicians on a cold winter's night, I was the only one to put money in the tip jar. How sad and disappointing.

After watching Miles play, we went to eat dinner at the Sheraton hotel where my brother works as a bell hop. Although it was after nine o'clock at night, I still ordered a huge cheeseburger with fries and a Shirley Temple. The food was delicious. Miles splurged and ordered a $23 capon, even though it was still expensive his 25-percent employee discount. I had a great time celebrating my birthday with my family. After finishing our meals, we went to my brother's apartment to celebrate with the second cake that my mom had made earlier that day. Miles' roommates were also there to sing Happy Birthday and eat cake with us.

When we left Iowa City, it was really late. I still had to shower and get ready for bed. By the time I actually got done with all these things and jumped into bed, my seventeenth birthday was officially over. It was probably after 2 a.m. on a school night. But that did not matter. I had a great time. I had told Miles I would go see him even if I didn't get to bed until 2 a.m. -- and that is exactly what happened. But if being able to spend time with my brother meant losing a few hours of sleep, who cared. It was worth it. Even if I never did finish my homework that night. (Shh, don't tell my mom.)

Next time he gets a famous musician to play Happy Birthday for me, though, I hope I recognize the tune.

Birthdays

Today is my seventeenth birthday. Does it feel any different to me than any other day? No, not really. My mom has always felt the same way. While Dad and my brother Miles seemed to accept that about her, my sister Claire and I kept trying to get Mom excited about her birthday and buy at least a few gifts. She would always reply, “Trust me. I don’t want anything.” We did. The next year, she'd say, “Don’t you dare even THINK of buying me gifts.” I would ask her if she was excited and she would reply, “No. I don't let the calendar dictate to me what I should do." She never wants to go out on Mother's Day or Valentine's Day, the busiest days of the year at restaurants. Nothing wrong with going a different day, she says, and that's only if she caves into the pressure of celebrating some occasion because the calendar says so. Worse, she hates anything that Hallmark is promoting. No one is to buy her cards or trinkets if it is expected due to some date on a calendar. For years I kept trying to show her that cards and gifts are fun, and I would get annoyed by her attitude, but on my seventeenth birthday, I realized I feel the same way.

Who decided to make birthdays become such a big deal? I realize I would not be alive today if not for the miracle of entering this world on December 6, but I don’t understand why we have come to expect so many gifts or spend so much money on expensive birthday parties. Birthdays are a time to celebrate being alive and spend time with our families, not be little divas complaining about not getting enough presents or not having everything go exactly our way. So many people spend SO much money on cutesy little hallmark cards, expensive gift wrapping, and elaborate cakes from the store, which taste horrible, by the way- they make look pretty, but homemade cakes are SUPERIOR. Grade school kids came to expect hiring a clown, then renting a building or time at a skating rink or the Play Station. Parents spend time and money buying party favors as gifts for the guests, silly hats, noise makers, and themed cups, plates and napkins--the list goes on and on. Adults are no better. Women get mad at husbands for not buying roses and taking them out for expensive dinners. 

Why can’t we just enjoy the fact that we are alive and have friends and family to celebrate with? Why does everything have to be so commercialized? Why do we have to spend as much money as possible and get every expensive item we want in order to be happy? If you ever discover the answer, please let me know. Otherwise, wish me a happy birthday and be done with it.

(Word Count: 482)